This week was so long that the real title of this post is “This stupid long fucking ass motherfucking piece of shit week that had lots of good sprinkled in to it, god damn.” Sadly, that was too long of title but I bet you would have stuck around to see what what could cause such a viseral reaction. Well, join me on a journey of what the actual fuck and I think all will be clear as to why I set aside writing for a week. That and I needed to process and get back to a better mental position to be able to express myself coherently while maintaining an engaging post to read. 

Tuesday I got to celebrate my wonderful wife being nominated for team leader of the quarter for the second time. She may not have won this time but 50% win rate is amazing! I was able to share this special moment. The comments that her v.p. shared about why she was nominated had me tear up that they were genuine.

And then Thursday rolls around… It as such a good day. I have no idea what hair crawled up my ass to do this; but. I messaged my father… This wasn’t just a message, either. It was THE MESSAGE. The one trans people dread having. The one where you say “This is me. That is not me. I am trans.” You know THAT message. Well, how do you think it turned out? I will tell you – not very fucking well.

Let me paraphrase the message that I received back and dissect it. “Let me say that must of been hard for you to tell me. You are still my child and I love you more than anything” Like cool that seemed very promising. Yet, there is where it begins to crash and burn. “Do I understand? No. But let me tell you all the reasons why.” Well fuck me. Let me guess. We are about to go down the black pit of religion. “God gave me a beautiful and healthy son that in return I named <<DEADNAME>>.” Fucking called that shit. What I do not understand is how someone I never saw attend a single church service could be waving the flag of religion in my face. I don’t think that this would have bothered me nearly as much if he had attended even semi-regularly. 

Like Billy Mays famously said: “But, wait! There’s more!. Sadly, the message continues. “I love you but I can’t call you by your name.” And there strikes the biggest bullshit of life – the I love you but. Its back to the conditional love and support for me. “What does your wife think of this?” Isn’t that a loaded question? Let’s break this down since we are back to reigion. What you are realy saying is, how are you going to have sexual relations with your wife if you continue down this road. Well, how do others it. Orgasms do not exist just for straight people. 

“I truly hope you take pause before you do irepperable damage to yourself. Again, I love you no matter what.” Ugh… Just… Ugh… What the actual fuck. 

To be continued…