It was a day yesterday… filled with a bright sun, clear skies, warm temps and a transphobic encounter.

Well I guess I never finished this post. That was a tough day to live and experience but was brought around by the love and support of my wife. I am not going to go too deep into this post and it will probably be shorter than expected but I wanted to at least recount the interaction for my own memory and processing.

We had gone to the outdoor mall in our area to walk around and get some sun. It was just after noon and we were getting hungry by the time that we had arrived. So, we parked and walked over to one of our favorite pizza places because its pretty much fresh made and decently cheap and as we sat down to enjoy our hot, fresh and super delicious pizza we began talking. 

Normally, our conversations are pretty mundane but this day it turned to the topic of is Ireland safe for trans people. I sat there and thought about it not knowing either way and decided to look it up. Turns out that Ireland is supposed to be pretty safe. But the next comment choked me up something fierce to where I began tearing up in the middle of the dining room…. My wife’s comment: “Now we can add Ireland and Canada to the list of countries that we can flee too if it becomes unsafe for you.”

I broke down from this comment because of how much someone has to unconditionally care and love you to be ready at a moments notice to uproot their life to flee a dangerous situation. This amount of love to me has taken me many years of growth and some time in therapy to realize that I am worthy of being loved unconditionally. Anyways, I got off on a tangent and let us get back to the rest of the day. 

We finish our meal and walking back to the main mall, a rumbling in my stomach hit me. I went to use the restroom while my wife went to the store next door to browse. I did my business and upon walking out was accosted. I don’t remember the whole situation at this point but I do remember two comments that this person made and my comment back. 

Asshole: You better not have touched my daughter. (I think there was more in this but that is the part I remember)

Me: I was taking a shit. (Knowing me, I probably said more and just can’t remember but was more perplexed at the comment)

Asshole’s child: Dad, why couldn’t I just use the bathroom with sister?

Asshole: Because boys use the boys room and girls use the girls room. Ignore the freak. 

Like seriously, I have to use a restroom just like everyone else. Why is it that I am a freak for this? But, I am proud of myself for walking away and not engaging in the rest of the situation. My wife helped turn the day around. We continued walking around and I found some cute sunglasses and got my other ear pierced so that I could wear a full set of earrings.