I know it has been a little bit since the last post. Life has been a bit overwhelming since my last announcements regarding graduate school. In the time since, I was also offered acceptance to the University of Arizona. That was a rough email to get. It was not because I there was regret about my decision about Davis but that multiple schools really did want me and my work. I did end up declining Arizona as my first choice was still Davis and getting to work with the amazing faculty there. I am truly humbled that I was offered a second choice.
I have been trying to figure out what to write for a couple of weeks now and no specific topics have been popping out at me. That could be simply because I am not far enough in either research project to really share what is going on in each. I am excited for the work and what will come of it but they are going to be rather large. I am just trying to take each in small manageable chunks. While they may not be much at the moment, I am really excited to really dig into these projects in Davis.
I have been working on the kink and music research project. That also lead me to form other research questions for another project. That project is still in the very early stages but it does bring me back to my heart, Italian pop music. It then marries sex work and bodily agency into audience reception and musical portrayal. Like I said, very early stages. I am also in somewhat of a paralysis about the projects as I want to wait until Davis to really dig into them and get them going. I do not know why this has taken over me but it is rather frustrating. However, it has been extremely encouraging that the people that I have discussed the project with have been wholeheartedly intrigued and make jokes like “am I being researched right now?”. No. No, you are not. I am glad that I am building a community of people to talk to and know that I am not alone.
In the meantime, I have been having wonderful research discussions with a colleague in Davis as they do very similar research to mine. They recently did a lecture/discussion regarding their newest research project and it rings a lot of hope for both of my projects in Davis in terms of audience reception. I have been a bit concerned about a project that is partially auto-ethnographic about kink, sex, and music and how that will be received in an academic community. It is very revealing about who I am as a person. However, I made a vow to live my life as my real self and yes this research may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I do hope that it is approached with an open mind.
Finally, I am excited for my first play party event coming up in the next few weeks. I even ordered some theme outfits. One was a leather harness and it ended up not fitting. While I am extremely proud of the progress that I have made with my weight loss, it was still heartbreaking to not have it fit. However, the other…. was a blue slip that hugged me in all the right ways and my wife had a giant devious smile as I was trying it on. I did want both items to layer. But, I am glad that at least one fit and will be hopefully make me feel like I want at the party. Especially since a friend wants to try their new flogger out on me. Ha! In that vein, the last rope social was amazing! I was able to talk to quite a few people and build more connections. I am hoping that I will still have a bit of time while in Davis to build some community even if I may need to go the 15 minutes to Sacramento. Overall, I think everything will be just as it is meant to be and I need to ride the wave and continuing to build my balance.